Donohoe Lands Big Fancy Job In The States, The Prick

ABANDONING the nation like a child in Tusla care, Finance Minister Paschal Donohoe has landed a big fancy job in the World Bank in Washington, the prick.

“That’s just typical now,” the collective nation stated with a slight hint of begrudgery, before learning Donohoe’s role will be the second-most senior position in the World Bank, as managing director and chief knowledge officer.

“Actually that’s not a bad gig. Fuck. He better remember us when the economic shit hits the fan,” the nation added, now warming to the idea of one of our own securing such an important role in world finance. “He better not come back here with a stupid yank accent, but go on, look, we’ll give it to him.”

Speculation is now rife as to who will become the next finance minister, with Tánaiste Simon Harris and his team scrambling to find someone to fill Donohoe’s still-warm shoes.

“We need someone who kind of looks like Paschal. Same height, same hair, the upside-down smile. So we’re probably going with Minister for Enterprise, Peter Burke,” a Fine Gael source told WWN.

Meanwhile, Donohoe’s exit will spark the need for a by-election and a reshuffle in FG, along with even more time wasted on everything except the jobs they are actually meant to be doing.