Government Leaves Latest ERSI Warning Unopened On Top Of Microwave

“SURE THE multinationals have our back,” Minister for Public Expenditure Jack Chambers reassured Paschal Donohoe, as he placed yet another unopened ESRI letter marked ‘urgent’ onto a teetering pile of junk mail balanced on the government microwave, before heading off for lunch to chat about their €9.4 billion plans for Budget 2026.

The latest ESRI warning, this one about the construction sector overheating from soaring wages and costs amid a lack of actual construction, among other economic pointers, now joins a dusty heap of unopened envelopes dating back as far as 2007 hinting that the Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael ministers appear to have developed a hereditary immunity to such warnings.

“Sure our GDP is flying it,” Chambers said repeating a favourite mantra which Donohoe parroted back to his young colleague, both carefully ignoring the part about Trump’s new 15 percent tariffs representing a ‘clear deterioration in Ireland’s trading environment.’

“We’re doing what panicked middle income earners do when an energy bill or insurance renewal drops in the post, if we don’t open the grave and repeated warnings about our failure to acknowledge the economic reality, they’re not real,” Chambers repeated, smiling a manic smile reminiscent of an Anglo shareholder in late 2008.

Inside the unread letter, the ESRI pleaded for a pivot away from retrofitting and energy upgrades toward actually building houses and infrastructure.

“Sure we’re building loads of houses,” Chambers incorrectly stated while compartmentalising his own memories of Ireland’s last bursting housing bubble when he was still a teenager and his party was busy lighting the fuse.

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