Local Parents Outsourcing All Sex Education Of Children To Pornhub

FEARFUL that the new primary school sex education curriculum could poison their children’s minds and give them a distorted sense of human reproduction, sex and sexuality, a pair of local Waterford parents have agreed to outsource all sex education to Pornhub.

“We don’t want the schools doing it, it should be left to the parents to do it, even if we’re petrified of explaining any of it ourselves so ignoring the fact they’ll be going through puberty and have questions is our best bet,” explained Sheila and Gavin Fanning.

While the Fannings won’t actively push their children towards the world wide web, they will cross their fingers intently and hope James (11) and Sarah (12) will just figure it out themselves.

“We always laughed at how prudish and bottled up our parents generation were but then again, once a 12-year-old asks you what the other kids in school mean when they say ‘your da loves pegging’ I’m starting to see why they just screamed we’re going to hell,” shared Sheila (46), petrified of having to do some parenting.

It is believed Pornhub and similar sites have become the primary educational tool for young and impressionable people navigating their new found influx of hormones.

“Sheila love, there’s some great stuff on here. I’m even learning new things,” a relieved Gavin (44) shouted from the family’s communal tablet, as the sounds of a gang bang could be clearly heard blaring from the device.

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