Man Who Made Clothes You Can’t Afford Dies

GIORGIO ARMANI, famous the world over with people who have never been able to afford his extortionately priced clothes, has died aged 91.

“Wow, he leaves quite the legacy,” confirmed one member of the public who would be followed intensely by shop security were they to ever linger in one of the shops stocking the clothes that bare the name of the late Italian designer.

“His creations were divine, what a loss,” added another admirer, who after a period of intense saving was able to afford the cheap knock offs of one the handbags that carries the Armani logo but actually has no resemblance to any official product.

Generating $2.3bn in revenue just last year, Armani will be mourned by people across the world who think paying $7,000 for a pair of trousers means you are a person of consequence.

“I’ll miss seeing his elegant creations gracing the red carpet and then trying to recreate it with whatever shite Penneys had for under €20,” offered one student of fashion history.

“His perfume gave me a fucking rash,” confirmed one woman who once purchased a fragrance on Dublin’s Moore Street with the ‘Armammi’ logo emblazoned on the bottle.

Support an independent, ad-free publisher by buying yourself something nice in our shop HERE