“Your Skin? Blasted Off Instantly”: Media Really Enjoying Telling You What Direct Nuclear Strike On Your City Would Entail

THE WORLD’S western media outlets have treated loyal readers, viewers and listeners to the nightmare scenario of the effects a nuclear fallout would have on their towns and cities, just in case they were struggling to visualise a nuclear apocalypse.

Using bright and shiny graphics, doom laden music and interviews with willing experts, news anchors have delighted in trying to convince viewers everyone they know and love will be dead by teatime, pulverised in a scene reminiscent of Linda Hamilton’s nightmares in Terminator 2 Judgement Day.

“Your skin will be eviscerated in the initial blast, your bones? A lovely soup. Who will your screams to heard by? Oh no silly, your lung will be burn so quickly you won’t make a sound. And here we have an AI generated video of how Dublin would be absolutely fucked,” confirmed a smiling reporter.

“And the skin Professor Norman, would it bubble like lava or become paste like, a nice buttery spread?” asked one reporter interviewing an expert.

Launching a companion app for viewer phones, anchors encouraged people to type in their precise location to get a unique AI generated video of their own home being subject to a nuclear missile launch.

“Don’t forget, upload a picture of you and your partner to the app and we can generate the horribly deformed children you’d have after being exposed to all that radiation in the unlikely event of you surviving,” confirmed one news outlet before devoting the next 15 minutes to interviewing a US republican senator who achieved an erection for the first time in decades after talking about how the US need to bomb Iran.

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