Trump Exempts JD Vance’s Favourite Chinese Made Eyeliner From Tariff List

IN A CLEAR indication the Trump administration remains unified and on the same page on the issue of tariffs, US president Donald Trump has made a kind exemption on certain imports affecting JD Vance’s daily routine.

“Don’t mention it JD, I know if I couldn’t get hold of my favourite bronzer, well, I’d cry. I wouldn’t be able to leave the house,” president Trump said as he delivered the good news to his VP.

The no-nonsense approach to China taking the America economy for fools has seen a zero exemption policy in place which was then immediately changed to exempt a lot of things including computers, laptops, disc drives and automatic data processing equipment, smartphones, memory cards, semiconductor devices, solar cells, modems, routers and flat panel displays.

“Thanks Donald, I know we all bought stocks on the dip before you announced the 90 day pause which rapidly increased the value of said stock but even I would feel the pinch if I had to keep buying my MAC Liquidlast liner at triple the price,” an emotional Vance said, holding back the tears to avoid his mascara running.

“Without it, I’d just feel naked when going out in public to proud defending deporting people to El Salvadorian prisons for the crime of having never committed a crime being while being Latino,” Vance added before fumbling and dropping his eyeliner pen on the ground before it rolled into an open sewer grate.

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