Therapists Estimate Sonia From Eastenders Would Require ‘£47mn Worth Of Therapy’ To Process Traumas Endured

WITH THE character of Sonia Fowler and her trumpet making at exit from Eastenders after 30 years, leading experts in emotional trauma suggest the Walford native would require close to 500,000 one-to-one sessions with experienced therapists to traverse and process all she has been through and had to endure.

“Giving birth on a toilet as a teenager when you didn’t even know you were pregnant – that’s 100 sessions right there,” explained one therapist, who specialises in treating in soap characters.

“Wrongly charged with murder, reuniting with the father you never knew you had only for him to turn out to be an imposter, I’m having a breakdown just thinking about how to help her avoid a breakdown,” offered another therapist, who said she could afford a 2nd, 3rd and 4th holiday home in the Maldives if she secured Sonia as a patient.

Experts also mentioned how in an effort to treat Sonia, they would prescribe her anti-depressants which she would immediately become addicted to, her hold on the drugs only broken by experimental microdosing of psychedelics which would backfire after she has a psychotic break and starts to believe she is a badger who is also the reincarnated soul of her ex-husband Martin.

“I would wager she’s endured more pain and suffering and retained more trauma than the collective pain endured by all victims of all wars in human history. To treat her would be my crowning glory,” said another therapist.

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