Parents Actually Proud Teenage Son Smoking Real Cigarettes Over Vapes

WHEN 15-year-old Kevin Whelan first sparked up a Johnny Blue in front of his parents, he was expecting the worst, however, not only were Diana and Michael Whelan relieved, they have since come out in support of their only son.

“You hear the horror stories on the news – ‘Young man dies of bubble lung caused by vaping’ – it was our worst fear,” said mom, Diana, who went on to recall the moment that first plume of blue tobacco smoke passively hit her airwaves.

“It smelled like freshly baked bread compared to that fruity chewing-gum shite you get walking past teenagers outside Tesco. Honestly, it’s a refreshing change.”

Admitting Kevin’s 40-a-day habit is still worrying, father Michael insists there is now a classic feel to the Junior Cert student’s latest addiction, likening it to opting for a classic car instead of ‘those bloody electric yolks’.

“There’s a real whiff of Marlon Brando off him now,” said the father-of-two.

“I think it’s great to see the old ways making a comeback. Ireland’s losing a lot of its most treasured culture, and if Kevin wants to spend €50 a day inhaling smouldering tobacco leaves like some kind of vintage cool cat, then he should be free to build an entire personality around the addiction. Who knows, he might even inspire other teens to ditch the vapes – and that, in my opinion, can only be a good thing.”

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