Rare Good News: 80% Of Germans Not Fascists

INITIAL EXIT polls from German media indicate only 1 in 5 German voters think a Fourth Reich is a really good idea, WWN understands.

The far-right AfD, a party so extreme they even give France’s Marine le Pen the ick, surged in the federal election polls but only garnered 20% of first preference votes meaning it is likely CDU/CSU parliamentary group leader Friedrich Merz will be the next chancellor if he can form a coalition in part with Olaf Scholz’s SPD party.

“What a minor glimmer of positivity in this shit-infested world that is hellbent on eating itself,” reacted many to the relatively good news emanating from Germany that a party supported by Elon Musk and which considers Hitler to have been a ‘communist’ has only doubled it’s vote.

It is not clear when AfD leader Alice Weidel will allege immigrant criminals with multiple identities illegally voted for the CDU/CSU, but it is expected sooner rather than later and will be warmly received by those who respond to the AfD’s ‘not everyone in the SS was a criminal’ messaging.

“We couldn’t have done this without Trump surrendering to Putin, thank you so much for scaring the shit out of voters,” confirmed Merz in his victory speech.

Elsewhere, noticing the election had an 84% turnout, perplexed Irish people began searching on Google to confirm voting in Germany is probably mandatory and comes with the threat of the death penalty if you fail to cast your ballot.

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