4-Year-Old Pours Glass Of Ribena After Another Exhausting Day

“I’M THAT up to my eyes with the stress, I’ll have it neat,” stone-faced 4-year-old Jack McKinty barked at his Mam, Una McKinty, after what must rank as the most stressful day in little Jack’s life thus far.

A particularly taxing bout of chasing during little break, coupled with exhaustive number rhymes and an argument over what the best dinosaur is, McKinty entered the second half of his day more tired than usual, with his desire to ‘put today to bed’ manifesting itself in a 6pm request for an unprecedented second glass of Ribena.

“My friends don’t understanded me, hide and seek is better than just chasing. Mrs Horan doesn’t understanded me, maths is wojus altogether, we should do painting but Ribena, Ribena gets me,” said Jack staring into the middle distance, inhaling sharply as the 2024 vintage blackcurrant juice burned a little in his throat.

Jack’s stress levels weren’t helped by the fact his two older siblings were ‘acting the complete pricks’ when they returned from school, insisting on switching off Bluey in favour of playing their computer games.

“Okay honey, just this once but we can’t make having two glasses of Ribena a habit okay? It’s not good for your toothy woothies and it’s full of E numbers,” Una told her child, who couldn’t hear her as his senses were momentarily dulled by the sugary blackcurrant squash coursing around his body.

“This world is chewing me up and spitting me out just fine without you being on my case too Una, just one day, that’s all I’m asking, one fucking day you can just leave me to enjoy the small things in life without a lecture,” said Jack grabbing the bottle of raw unfiltered Ribena and storming off to bed.

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