Nation Urges Nation That Will Vote In Fianna Fáil/Fine Gael Coalition Not To Do It

WITH the two parties who have been the majority partners in government since the foundation of the State polling at around 20% each, the Nation is once urging the Nation not to do the obvious and predictable.

“In the strongest possible terms I urge you all to think on this, we have 15,000 homeless people and 230,000 children teetering on the edge of poverty,” urged one voter whose pencil will be magnetically drawn to Fianna Fáil when they vote tomorrow.

“Everyone knows of at least one man, woman or child who has been failed by the State, that has suffered due to the deaf ears and ineffectual policies pursued by Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael so come on, don’t be a fuckin’ eejit,” the Nation lectured its own reflection, making eye contact with itself and noticing the noncommittal look in its own eyes.

With the majority of the electorate feeling that the outgoing government does not have the answers to current crises and the growing lack of basic services around the country, it is felt keenly by people up and down the country that, wait, what are you doing?

“I’m scared, if I vote for someone else then what if something like rampant corruption, the bankrupting of the country, a disintegrating health system or an explosion in homelessness happens? You know stuff that’s never happened in Ireland because we’ve always had the steady hand of FF/FG guiding us?” the Nation said fondly caressing a photo of Micheál Martin and Simon Harris holding hands and frolicking in a field while also the Nation at the same time suppressed the urge to vomit.

“You see, this is great thing about Ireland we have PR–STV which means every person’s vote counts and matters, and then after every vote which matters equally is counted and 60% odd percent of the country doesn’t vote for Fine Gael or Fianna Fáil they get to rule us,” said the Nation laughing and crying at the same time.