Power Supply To Fine Gael’s ‘New Energy’ Cut After Missing Payments

THE COMPANY supplying Fine Gael’s much vaunted new energy has had to cut the party off after it failed to keep up on its payments, WWN can reveal.

“Sugar, we were distracted by that absolute shit-sh…successful interaction Simon had the other day while out chatting to the public, must have forgotten to make the payment,” Fine Gael’s chief panicker explained.

“It absolutely isn’t the case that we failed to pay because the money was coming from the €5 billion black hole identified in our manifesto, and we aren’t distracted by the latest polls,” they added.

Being deprived of their new energy supply would also explain their slow response to why Hildegarde Naughton was happy in the past to accept an endorsement from then Fine Gael councillor Patsy O’Brien despite knowing he was alleged to have sent inappropriate messages to a party staff member which ultimately saw him expelled from the party.

“No, you see when Fine Gael fails to disclose expelling members due to the sending of inappropriate texts it’s ‘fine’, Christ it’s literally in our name. But when Sinn Féin do something similar it’s a grave threat to the State and every single woman and child in it,” offered one Fine Gael spin doctor, desperately searching drawers for any spare batteries they could jam into their stalling campaign.

Elsewhere, after catching sight of the worrying recent poll numbers Simon Harris is to punch a baby on the campaign trail today and ‘be done with it’.

UPDATE: The energy company involved has insisted it has done Fine Gael a ‘favour’ cutting off the new energy as an examination of their premises revealed the party were still only using the same old supply they had been availing of the past 13 years.

We design & sell funny t-shirts, mugs, hoodies and more to help keep the lights on. Check them out here www.waterfordwhispers.shop