Bittersweet: Trump Supporter Was Kind Of Looking Forward To Shooting Up The Place

PUTTING the safety back on his AR-15, Trump supporter Matthew Haroldson had some mixed emotions this morning cancelling his Greyhound bus ticket to Washington, secretly hoping that maybe some legalities may hinder Donald Trump’s Presidential election win.

“Harris hasn’t conceded yet so I’ll keep my options open. If I’m needed, I’ll be right here,” the 33-year-old told WWN, now frantically refreshing both his X and Telegram apps for something, anything to shoot about.

The full-time stay at home son admitted he isn’t normally a violent person but if it came to it he wouldn’t have any issue in fighting for his country and killing every liberal leftie within range.

“Oh no I’d make sure it would be quick double taps all round, they wouldn’t even know they’re dead – I’m not a monster,” the pro-life supporter said, sorry now he didn’t pack his other AR in case this one jams mid-tap.

Now already planning for Trump 2028, Haroldson warned anyone who dared try interfering with the next election that there will be war, but respected the democratic right to vote, nonetheless.

“I’m not saying voting for the Democrats should be punishable by death, but if it stops Mr. Trump in any way whatsoever then they’ll have to be brought to justice,” he concluded, before ringing his mother to see what’s for dinner tonight as he’s absolutely starving after running around the streets carrying lethal weapons.