‘Middle Child Syndrome’ A Load Of Bullshit, Confirms Study Conducted By Younger & Older Siblings

A STUDY conducted by a group of leading scientists comprised solely of younger and older non-middle child siblings have conclusively proven beyond all doubt that all gripes and grudges held by middle children are completely unfounded.

“No you’re a moany shite alright, but not because you’re left out and not favoured because you’re not the oldest or the youngest, you’re just a massive dose and we’re not to blame,” the results of the study found, conducted over the life span of a number of self-absorbed middle children whose main occupation is feeling sorry for themselves.

Studying transcripts of countless bickering among siblings, the same pattern emerged as middle children remained completely unable to see that if they felt they were passed up or not paid attention to by parents it was down to being boring, personality-less voids.

“Hey, don’t attack me, this is empirical scientific discovery, the methodology is sound, it is peer reviewed. What are you going to do now, go crying to mam? Typical,” said one youngest child scientist.

While the ramifications for the study are immediately evident, some experts suggest one area that could be affected is family wills.

“This is great, my middle child sister nearly guilted me into sharing dad’s will with her but it turns out this study proves he didn’t include her for a reason and it’s all on her,” explained elder sibling of one family.

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