Migrating Burke Returning To School Gates Heralds End Of Summer

NATURE lovers will have noted with some regret a telltale sign that Ireland’s summer is well and truly coming to an end.

It’s not the changing of the leaves but the migration of Enoch Burke from a prison cell to loitering around a set of gates belonging to a school he does not work at that has naturalists sighting the change in seasons.

“For some the first sign of spring is when daffodils emerge and for the end of summer it’s very much a weirdo, who’s been court ordered to stay away from a building full of children, turn up uninvited yet again,” explained phenologist Dr Phelim Filan.

The Enoch is identified by the plumage it decorates its body with, such as a briefcase they have no need for since they do not do any work or its repetitive shrieking, a hallmark of all Burkes, which is incredibly irritating to hear.

“I thought we’d get a few more weeks out of the summer, but it seems its shorter and shorter with each year,” remarked one ornithologist who spied the Enoch through his binoculars. Once incorrectly labeled a parasite, the Enoch has recently been recategorised as human of the ignorant variety which survives on a diet of bothersome behaviour.

UPDATE: In a bid to keep the Burke family from bothering school gates, an An Post van carrying a rainbow flag detail on its side has been stationed outside which it is believed acts in much the same way garlic repels a vampire.

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