How To Spice Down Your Love Life

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GETTING a little too steamy and rewarding in the bedroom department? Join a growing number of sex-satisfied couples looking to spice down their lives with these handy tips:

Play Benny Hill in the bedroom.

Leave a trail of Brussel sprouts from the front door to the bedroom.

Replace dirty talk with the history of the electrification of Ireland talk.

Make sure to say ‘lob it in there boss’ multiple times.

Save up a day’s worth of flatulence for the bedroom.

Buy all your lingerie in a hazmat supply shop.

Take that feather tickler and dust down behind the headboard, it’s filthy.

Engage in wife-keeping with the neighbours by not putting your car keys in a bowl.

Say those magic words: “Not tonight, I’m tired”.

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