Dad Giving Lecture About How Good Old School Hip Hop Was Again

UNABLE to stomach the pounding noise of what passes for music these days coming from his son’s bedroom, 47-year-old father Tadhg Heaney has once again broken into a lengthy lecture about how old school hip hop was the absolute business and the exact point where rap music reached its height.

“White lads called Tyler with stupid rap names ‘The Creator’? Gimme a break, the streets will never forget Tupac, Biggie,” said Heaney to yet more eye rolls from his son, Darren.

“Alexa, play The Message by Grandmaster Flash. Now Darren, this is where it was at, social commentary, when it was dangerous to talk about issues, the works,” continued Heaney, sipping intensely on a chamomile tea.

Losing Darren some five seconds into yet another invaluable history lesson, Heaney spoke at length of the resonance he felt with groups like Public Enemy when growing up on the mean streets of Dunmore East, something Darren would know little of given he’s wanted for nothing.

Critcising ‘moody feel sorry for yourself synths’, Heaney then asked his son to play a series of contemporary rap and hip hop artists which just led to Heaney setting a new world record for saying ‘that’s not hip hop’ the most times in the shortest amount of time possible.

Realising he was failing to get through to his son, Heaney turned his attention to his ‘Let It Go’ listening 7-year-old daughter Hannah and declared ‘I’ll tell you who had real pipes, beautiful she was too, tragic it was. Alexa, play Whitney Houston’.