“I’ve Been Waiting For This Day For Fucking Months” Zika Mosquito Says As Golf Begins

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“FRANKLY there has been a lot of shite being talked over the last few weeks and months and I’m just looking to put that behind now that the golf is starting. I’m ready to compete”.

The words of Buzz the mosquito, a Rio based parasite looking to make his mark on the 2016 games. You can appreciate where Buzz is coming from; he’s been slandered, defamed and his name has been dragged through the mud but now the talking is over.

“You just want to get out there and do what you do best as a virus carrying mosquito,” he added while repeatedly charging into a net in one of the bedrooms at the Olympic village.

There have been injunctions issued against leading golfers with McIlroy, Spieth and Day among their number, a campaign to restore Buzz’s good name is underway, but now all that is left to do is produce the goods.

“Oh trust me, my plan is to get out and really put myself about the place. The time for talking is done, the time for fucking shit up has begun,” a determined Buzz added, admitting the golf represented his best chance of success at the games.

“The indoor events don’t agree with me, I’m best operating out in the open, and in fairness the golf course is immaculate. Who wouldn’t want to perform in those conditions?”

Buzz can be seen at the golfing event in Rio today.

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