Man Doesn’t Care EVs Now Bestselling Car In Ireland, He’s Driving His 1l 2005 Fiesta Into The Ground
NEW DATA that suggests electronic vehicles are now outselling diesel cars in Ireland has not changed one local man’s view of the environmentally conscious mode of transport, WWN can reveal.
“And what? Am I supposed to impressed? Fergie the Fiesta here has 350,000kms on her, and my daughter painted fake hubcaps on it but you wouldn’t know it, so I think we’re alright thanks,” John O’Connor said leaning on what was possibly the saddest and most weather-beaten looking car to ever grace the Irish road network this decade.
“Can I afford a new car? Yes, absolutely. But my baby is in the prime of her life, and I’ll be with her until her dying breath in 2039, I’ll not be tricked into this EV nonsense. I won’t be told what to think,” added O’Connor, drawing his thoughts exclusively from Facebook car groups he has stumbled upon.
The 40-year-old confirmed that only ‘look at me gobshites’ buy EVs, and that his decision is no way influenced by the fact car dealers scare him and that he’s an easy mark they’ll see coming a mile away.
“And sure, I’ve heard those EVs haven’t a patch on petrol,” added O’Connor, who has spent 10 years lying about how he didn’t enjoy that one automatic car he rented while on holiday in France.
“She owes me nothing but there’s no sense in getting rid of her,” concluded O’Connor, as he jimmied the broken door, hot-wired the ignition and started up the wheezing engine which made faint sounds of ‘end my pain’ and emitted levels of toxic black smoke not seen since the Kuwaiti oil fires of 1991.
