Gavin Newsom Announces Intention To Lose 2028 US Presidential Election

CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR Gavin Newsom has firmly put his hat in the ring for losing the 2028 US presidential election after retracting his previous comments calling Israel an apartheid state.

“Retracting those comments just show the scale of Gavin’s ambition and how serious he is about losing in 2028,” shared one Democratic strategist who said their party has never been more driven and passionate about never learning from its mistakes.

“Gavin’s comments about revering Israel and now rowing back on apartheid comments, after two and a half years of an ongoing genocide in Gaza, I think this is when he truly became presidential loser material,” confirmed one Democrat voter included in the party’s suppressed 2024 election postmortem which concluded Kamala Harris lost significant support over her support for Israel and failure to make ‘it’s bad that the US is helping Israel’s war crimes in Gaza’ an official stance.

Others have argued that Newsom’s ability to have absolutely no principles he isn’t willing to immediately walk away from could certainly help with raising money for his campaign with the sort of business people who lined up to kiss Donald Trump’s ring after the 2024 election.

“Timing is everything in politics; Netanyahu is invading Lebanon, has just dragged the US into attacking Iran and destabilising the world’s economy and causing more bloodshed, choosing now to pipe up and praise Israel shows he has an uncanny ability to convince voters he’s no different to the Republicans. Bravo,” confirmed the would-be author of the Democrats’ in-house ‘why the voters are wrong, not us’ post 2028 election loss report.

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