On This Day 1977: Former Jedi Knight Ordered To Demolish Space Station Built Without Planning Permission

DUBLIN CITY COUNCIL has ordered the full demolition of a massive space station illegally built by a former Jedi Knight who failed in a High Court injunction bid to claim the 160 kilometre diameter, moon sized Imperial superweapon is not within the court’s jurisdiction.

“You may be up in space pal, but you’re still in our space,” a member of Dublin City Council told representatives of one Mr. Darth Vader during proceedings yesterday.

The structure, which features a superlaser powered by a hypermatter reactor and is protected by thousands of turbolasers and TIE fighter squadrons, is expected to be demolished under court order, with failure to comply potentially resulting in jail time and substantial fines.

Citing the station’s ability to vapourise an entire planet with a single blast, members of Vader’s legal team urged the court to reconsider, arguing their client is not accustomed to obeying terrestrial laws following a disagreement with former employers and a subsequent move to the dark side.

“We will not take such threats lightly,” Judge Terry Phelan warned. “Sure he may have the power to annihilate the entire solar system, but rules are rules and he never applied for planning while this so called Death Star was being built 200 miles above Dublin territory.”

Council officials confirmed that had Mr. Vader simply applied for planning permission for a modest orbital battle station, the matter might have been resolved amicably, but noted the current structure “looks considerably larger than the bungalow originally discussed.”

Help us to continue taking the piss in these trying times by buying yourself something nice in our shop HERE