“Neither Place Is Worth Visiting”: Government Defend Cancelling Re-Opening Of Wexford-Waterford Train Line

DEFENDING their decision to erase plans for the re-opening of the Wexford-Waterford train line, the government confirmed that residents of the neighbouring counties can’t be that surprised.

“C’mon, look out your windows… it’s hardly a shock it hasn’t appeared in our new spending plans. Pumping all that money into a train line for what? To subject people to views of Fannystown? We’d open ourselves up to compensation claims for mental torture,” confirmed the Minister For Announcements On Big Projects That Are Later Cancelled.

“While the GDP of the country as a whole has increased by about 40% in the last five years, the South East’s hasn’t increased at all, which begs the question why you’d think we’d bother investing in a silly Choo Choo let alone the region as a whole? When you start making the effort we’ll throw you some money,” added a government spokesperson.

The government criticised the anger they’ve been met with over the route being shelved and insisted the public focus solely on the public projects that they are going forward with.

“Would a thank you be too much?” concluded the government.

Elsewhere, one local voter who took delight in switching their vote in the last election from the Green Party back to Fianna Fáil can’t understand why public transport projects are being axed and the local waterways are full of harmful nitrates.

UPDATE: A planned protest over the cancellation of the train line works has been cancelled due to a lack of public transport.

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