Bill Badbody: What Would Happen If Russians Landed At Waterford Airport & Took Over It Over?

AS RECENTLY pointed out in a piece in inferior publication The Irish Times, Ireland would be defenceless were Russian troops to land in Shannon airport on a dastardly whim.

But what would happen if the Russians targeted somewhere people genuinely care about, such as Waterford and its threadbare airport? WWN’s temporary deputy stand-in editor Bill Badbody muses intensely below:

After the initial casualties caused by the Russians putting down any local rebellion, my thoughts turn to the inevitable questions; could Vlad secure the necessary funding to extend Waterford Airport so it becomes a fully functional airport to rival Cork and Shannon?

And would Russian really rule be so bad if we got five direct flights a week to Spain? We shouldn’t think of the negatives, we should see the business opportunities. And surely, Russians on the ground, unfamiliar with the ways and customs of our western capitalist system would need an advisor with unparalleled business experience, who could be trusted with being given local contracts.

Perhaps someone who is a local property owner who would be in a position to offer accommodation arrangements to our new rulers?

I’m not putting my name in the hat, I’m forcing it in and sewing the hat shut as I’m the only name worthy of such a position and that the local economy would undoubtedly benefit from a Russian invasion is in no doubt, and we shouldn’t turn away from this opportunity. A Waterford Vodka Distillery would create much needed jobs, and so what if I’ve already price checked some vodka stills? Planning ahead and being prepared isn’t a bad thing.

Sure, learning Russian will take getting used, but if I have to learn how to ingratiate myself with a new ruling class that holds the purse strings to profit, then you’ll be just fine learning your A, Б,Cs.

We only ever seem to talk about the negatives of Russian interference, but if they cut underwater cables connecting Ireland to America that means Irish jobs are created for the repair job. Think of the bigger picture!

Bill Badbody is a board member at the International Committee For Panicked Militarisation & Profiteering.