Panicked Sam Altman Asks ChatGPT To Tell Him How To Breathe In Air

FRESH FROM a probing interview with intellectual giant Jimmy Fallon in which he marvelled at the fact some humans were once forced to raise their children without relying on his ChatGPT product, a panicking OpenAI CEO Sam Altman has come perilously close to dying.

“Humans aren’t capable of anything, we need AI to tell us how to do everything,” explained Altman as air left his lungs, creating a scenario where he was incapable of figuring out how to breathe as a human such is humanity’s helplessness without AI technology.

“ChatGPT, tell me how to breathe,” Altman implored his AI tool in a prompt as his face turned red and his body became deprived of oxygen.

After spitting out a step by step guide on how to breathe in air, Altman was dragged back from oblivion and certain death, leading OpenAI stock price to soar on news of effortless utilisation in every day tasks humans simply couldn’t complete with AI.

“Thank God stock prices are perfectly sensitive to bullshit that does nothing to showcase a long term case use for AI,” added Altman, relieved that news ChatGPT has had a direct hand in several suicides, his own sister is suing him over alleged sexual abuse and that mystery continues to surround the death of one ChatGPT whistleblower has had no material affect on stock price.

“Prompt: a brown substance has made its way into a strange material I am wearing on my body for warmth, what is it? And what steps do I need to take?” Altman added before patiently waiting for ChatGPT to tell him he had shit his pants.

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