Trump Treated In Hospital For Serious Case Of FOMO After Not Being Invited To Dictator Parade

FINALLY CONFIRMING the rumours about the US president’s health, the White House has revealed Donald Trump is currently recovering in the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, where he is being treated for a severe case of FOMO.

Snubbed by the world’s leading dictators at a huge military parade in China, the 79-year-old is said to be in a ‘critical but reassuringly unstable’ condition. Officials have urged journalists not to mention or ask questions about the Beijing event – described by some as the ‘Dictator Olympics’.

To aid his recovery, Trump is being administered looping, AI-enhanced footage of his first presidential inauguration and a recent military/birthday parade in Washington DC.

“We’ve quadrupled the crowd size and military hardware in the clips to alleviate the FOMO,” a White House spokesdoctor explained. “We even inserted Putin and Kim Jong Un beside him on the platform. It’s sad to see an elderly man sob like that, but we’re confident he’ll recover from this over time.”

It is also understood Trump has voluntarily left a WhatsApp group chat shared by the Russian, North Korean, and Chinese leaders who attended the parade.

“Donald sent Macron a ‘you up?’ text late last night, which is a good sign, or not, depending how you look at it,” one insider confirmed.

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