Irish Media Project Coverage Of Gareth Sheridan Presidential Bid Into Dreams Of Sleeping Public

WORRIED THE Irish voting public has gone minutes without a new article detailing an aspect of the life, career and presidential campaign of Gareth Sheridan, the Irish media has developed technology which allows it to project news stories on the Nurtriband CEO directly into the public’s dreams as they sleep.

“Fucking hell, I had the strangest dream…,” said one local man awaking this morning only to be told by his partner they had the exact same dream which involved wall-to-wall coverage of 35-year-old Sheridan’s campaign launch in the Shelbourne Hotel.

“Ah now it makes sense, I thought it was strange I had an exclusive interview with that fella’s second cousin’s neighbour’s dog, he had a fascinating anecdote about how he’s a millennial don’t you know,” confirmed another member of the public.

For their part, the media has insisted that creeping sense that Sheridan is being foisted upon them for no discernible reasons is just paranoid.

“You’re just being paranoid, now here’s more on why Gareth Sheridan could be the answer for Ireland,” insisted the media replacing a dream in which you were playing cards in space with David Bowie, Falkor from the Neverending Story and the Spice Girls only they didn’t look like the Spice Girls.

Elsewhere, in a bid to differentiate themselves from other people currently announcing their intention to seek a nomination for president, one candidate has stated “it has always been my dream since I took an interest in this ‘caring about Ireland’ bullshit five minutes ago”.

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