Water Restrictions In Dublin & Kildare Not Expected To Affect Teenage Boys

WATER RESTRICTIONS which will be in place in a number of areas in Dublin and Kildare this weekend will cause great inconvenience to many residents, however 99% of teenage boys are expected to be unaffected by restricted access to showers and baths.

“Use a shower? My Michael? That’d be like watching a 90-year-old trying to use ChatGPT while filming a Tiktok,” confirmed Dublin resident, Caroline Marron, who hasn’t bothered informing her hygiene adverse 14-year-old son, Michael, of the upcoming water restrictions.

Uisce Éireann have been trying to alert the affected areas to prepare and plan for a loss of water, however, many parents are suggesting much of the money and effort spent on an information drive is a waste.

“My son in encased in a layer of dirt so thick a police riot van’s water cannon wouldn’t make a dent, he’ll be fine, it’s only anyone with a sense of smell that truly suffers” confirmed local Kildare father Gavin Brennan.

Parents have said that for many teenage aged sons the only inconvenience will be disrupting their fake shower routine in which they turn on the shower and then sit on the toilet seat fully clothed, scrolling their phone.

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