“After Much Deliberation With My Agent, We Have Decided It Is Now Beneficial For My Career To Speak Out On Gaza 21 Months Into Horrific War Crimes” Confirms Entertainer
WWN HAS SECURED an exclusive interview with a famous entertainer, believed to be one of many having to make the agonising decision to use their platform for something other than self-promotion, who has bravely spoken out for the first time 21 months into the ongoing man-made catastrophe in Gaza which is being perpetrated by Benjamin Netanyahu, now that they can be sure it is safe to do so.
“While my PR team poured literal minutes of their time into my social media post obliquely referencing Gaza, this was the culmination of countless sleepless nights about my marketability.
After my management employed a third party market research company to carry out a sentiment analysis of the public’s attitudes to the ongoing genocide, we were able to determine that acknowledging in the most rudimentary way that starving people to death is ‘not good’ would not materially harm my career in any way, in fact I could even gain reputationally and transform that into future brand deals.
The major markets into which I sell myself and my brand would not consider the sharing of one screenshot from a news article about Gaza to be something that would negatively affect me in any longterm way.
Further analysis indicated that my team and I were correct to remain silent on Gaza until now, as several famous people who have taken a stand from the beginning of all this, have not gained any major commercial deals as a result.
Research shows that now, amongst a flurry of sudden public objections to war crimes from similarly silent famous people, it is likely people do not retain a strong memory of who spoke out when and so my brave post will blend in among the many, many others from people who spoke out much sooner.
Only now that my agent is convinced this ‘stop killing children’ is a viable trending topic worthy of my endorsement, could we be sure pledging my name to a post about it was worthwhile.
And for those who would criticise me, please understand that I consider my social media posts a sacred space, normally reserved for only the most anodyne endorsement of brands who pay me for the privilege. To sully my social media with actual thoughts goes against everything I stand for”.