Starmer To Press Trump On What Shampoo He Uses On Marvellous Hair During Discussion On Gaza
UK PRIME MINISTER Keir Starmer has been urged by Labour Party advisers against pursuing an aggressive and antagonist approach to his meeting with Donald Trump, in which he intends to cross examine the US leader on his favourite shampoo, WWN can confirm.
“You know how thin-skinned and reactionary he is PM, don’t do it, don’t heap endless compliments on him and talk about things like Gaza in empty, meaningless phrases. Why go in so aggressive like that, it’ll only backfire,” aides warned firebrand and ceaseless crusaders for fairness and peace Starmer.
There has been a palpable sense of relief expressed by many who feared Starmer’s meeting with Trump would descend into the usual empty, morally bankrupt platitudes about ‘appealing for an end to the suffering’ while doing nothing to halt Israel’s war crimes.
Starmer’s combative style, and his insistence that Trump divulge the name of the brand of luxuriant shampoo he uses, could see his popularity rise among voters but aides fear it could set off a diplomatic tsunami which could come crashing down on Britain.
“Sir Keir, I beg you, you can’t merely fellate his ego, nothing less than lodging your tongue so far up his arse that the fire brigade couldn’t even free you from there with the jaws of life will do,” exclaimed a panicked staff member.
“Look, here’s another one,” Starmer is expected to say as he shows Trump videos on his phone of UK police arresting peaceful protesters for opposing the genocide in Gaza. “Oh this one is funny, that lady being pulled into a police van is 90!”
UPDATE: Trump has said he is disgusted that the UK’s new ID verification system is making it harder for teenagers to access harmful and explicit online content, stating “but that was mine and Jeffrey’s favourite thing to expose children to”.
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