US On Verge Of Renaming French Fries ‘Freedom Fries’ Again As France Recognises Palestinian State
THE UNITED STATES of America is perilously close to enacting the strongest sanctions possible against the nation of France after Emmanuel Macron indicated that France will recognise the Palestinian state.
“Freedom fries are back on the menu boys,” confirmed US media outlets, breaking the seal on top secret envelopes baring the legend ‘open in case of need of jingoistic insults of country acknowledging in anyway that Palestinians are human beings’.
“Surrender addicts, WHO WE BAILED OUT IN THE SECOND WORLD WAR, think it’s okay to mention the existence of the two-state solution, well those stinky garlic affair merchants have another thing coming,” confirmed US media outlets, YouTubers and X users in unison, acting courageous to defend Israel.
“This is the thanks I get for my great-uncle dying in Vietnam? France thinks it can have an independent foreign policy that deviates from the US and Israel’s? Not on my watch,” confirmed one irate American, whose family fear for his sanity when he discovers potatoes are notionally an Irish thing.
A presidential decree issued moments ago by the White House has confirmed that anyone on US soil calling freedom fries ‘French’ fries will be put on death row, along with a number of other emergencies protocols including:
Instructing Netflix to move Emily in Paris production to Paris, Texas.
All street performing mimes to be shot on sight.
Boycotting the wearing striped t-shirts and a necklace or onions around your neck.
To show how reasoned and principled a stance this is, make sure to refer to Brigette Macron as ‘him’ in all official correspondences.
Reintroduction of the stereotype that French people smell.
People must not savour French wine and enjoy its gratifying taste, it must now be necked.
Every American must ensure the Meg Ryan starring ‘French Kiss’ is rated ‘rotten’ on Rotten Tomatoes.
Every American must remove Daft Punk’s helmets if they encounter them in public.
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