Furious Mount Etna Erupts At Inter Milan Shaming Italy With Poor Final Performance

VOLCANOLOGISTS on the island of Sicily have said Inter Milan’s ‘piss poor’ performance in the Champion’s League is to blame for Mount Etna’s recent dramatic eruption, WWN Sport can reveal.

“Initially Etna was just overawed and impressed by the dynamism of PSG but the more she thought about it, she saw what defensive disarray Inter left themselves in. Sitting on it for days, the rage builds. An Italian team bad at defending? You might as well put pineapple on pizza and serve it with a lukewarm espresso mixed with a pint of milk,” explained Dr Leonetta Bardi.

Bardi highlighted that the fact a northern Italian team shaming the south as it basks in Napoli’s recent title win complicated feelings for Etna.

“Being a Napoli die hard meant she was spitting lava at the idea that everyone was talking about how awful Italian football is, at a time Napoli should still be lauded for winning the league, this is all anyone now associates with Italian football,” Bardi added, elaborating further.

“I know it’s no consolation to the tourists who had to flee in a panic, but watching Dimarco defend like his brain had been hijacked by a monkey on trampoline as Acerbi moves slower than an arthritic sloth will do that to you,” Bardi concluded.

Elsewhere, Simone Inzaghi decision to take his Inter squad on a hike up Mount Etna to clear their heads and reset was called ‘as bad a decision as not bothering with tactics against PSG’ and only served as the catalyst for the volcano’s eruption.

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