Ireland’s Sewage System Not Prepared For Taco Bell Launch, Experts Warn

EXPERTS in the lack of Irish infrastructure have warned that the launch of Taco Bell here in Ireland could spell disaster for an unprepared sewage system.

“This is a country that can’t even connect up enough houses to the water supply, and you think our old sewage pipes can take the addition of Taco Bell outlets, dozens of these diarrhoea cannons, constantly firing off? Lunacy,” shared one waste expert.

Taco Bell, respected in the American fast-food trade for offering a cheap alternative to colonic irrigation, is to enter the Irish market this summer but many people are pressuring councils to make building a waste treatment plant at each outlet a prerequisite for planning approval.

“We need every man, woman and child working around the clock, bolting down toilets to secure them in place, you have no idea of the horrors that await you,” explained one former J1 student who claims his hole has never been the same since .

“If a midnight Supermacs is one drag of a joint, Taco Bell is mainlining fentanyl laced heroin while swimming in a pool of tranq, it’s like giving Niagara Falls a laxative,” said one veteran of the TB-induced shits.

Uisce Éireann have been urged to reinforce all existing sewage pipes to the point they can withstand the equivalent force of a thousand Guinness shits being deposited into the network every second.

“Heed this warning or consign us all to drown in brown,” cautioned one waste expert.

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