Chaotic Scenes In Dáil Again As Ceann Comhairle Uses Water Cannon To Restore Order

COMING to the conclusion that issuing a statement, absolving herself of any responsibility for the recent Dáil upheaval, has shockingly failed to calm opposition calls for her resignation, Ceann Comhairle Verona Murphy has taken the next necessary step.

“You’re making a holy show of yourselves now,” Murphy said amid more acrimony and shouting, leaving her no choice but to beckon into the chamber a water cannon, capable of dispensing 5,2000 litres in a matter of minutes.

Employing a method known for deescalating tensions and bringing simmering tempers back down to room temperature, the Ceann Comhairle has sought the most credible options within her powers to get the business of government back up and running, bringing an end to the opposition holding democracy hostage by insisting undemocratic things be halted.

“Can you understand that As Gaeilge?” Murphy said as a torrent of uisce violently threw several opposition TDs across the Dáil chamber.

Despite the positive intervention, Murphy now stands accused yet again of colluding with the government (an accusation she denies) after video footage within the Dáil show the Taoiseach and government TDs arriving into the chamber in full scuba diving gear.

Elsewhere, Michael Lowry’s ‘fuck you’ fingers were unharmed during the unleashing of the water cannon.

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