“Hey, You’re Making It Way Too Fucking Obvious” Putin Warns Trump

WHILE everything Vladimir Putin pinned up on his 2025 vision board in his Kremlin office may be coming true, the Russian leader still felt the need to chastise his partner in crime, Donald Trump, for perhaps making things a bit ‘too obvious’.

“Comrade, c’mon, calling Zelensky dictator when I’m guy who is first result image when look up ‘modern dictators’ on Google? Tone it down,” Putin instructed in a text to Trump.

Noted war criminal and instigator of the invasion of Ukraine, Putin had felt holding peaces talks with Trump on ending the war in Ukraine without involving Ukraine risked uncovering the very subtle effort he had made to make Trump his pawn, but now the cat was all but out of the bag.

“Yes we want you strong arm and abandon Ukraine but when you directly copy paste Kremlin propaganda notes into your social media posts with made up numbers, even your idiot supporters get suspicious,” Putin added.

Many political commentators have been shocked by Trump’s outburst aimed at Zelensky after the Ukraine leader said the US president was living in a ‘disinformation bubble’, however, for others it is no great shock a serial sex offender would accuse a victim of being the real perpetrator.

Putin’s inner circle have once again publicly denied having any kompromat on Trump insisting, rather convincingly, that ‘he is really just that stupid’.

Elsewhere, a slightly embittered Joe Biden said ‘okay, really, he thinks Ukraine started the war and that Zelensky is a dictator but I’m the one with dementia?’

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