Micheál Martin Moves Up One Ranking In ‘Hottest Politician’ List After Justin Trudeau Resignation

THINGS ARE continuing to look up for Taoiseach-in-waiting Micheál Martin, WWN can report.

Not only are government formation talks stepping up a level, Martin has edged up one place in the list of ‘hottest politician’ after Canadian PM Justin Trudeau announced his resignation after 9 years at the helm.

“Let’s not dwell on where exactly I am on the list, the important thing is it’s one ahead of where it was yesterday,” said Martin, acknowledging the fact 53-year-old Trudeau’s enviable tresses made him a formidable foe in the ‘found attractive by people who otherwise pay no attention to politics’ demographic.

However, Martin did express his confusion at Trudeau’s resignation as falling party support coupled with a rise in cost of living and a housing crisis means a guaranteed return to power in Ireland.

“Rankings related to policy implementation is a discussion for another day, today we should focus on the fact Simon Harris needs to move his ergonomic chair and keyboard out of the Taoiseach’s office pronto,” said Martin when asked about his standing amongst the Irish electorate.

Martin acknowledged the news of his improved ranking will come as a boost to the Irish people as it faces into an incredibly worrying time in which the identity of the next government remains a mystery, with vast ideological differences a barrier to any hope Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael could find a way to form an unlikely coalition.

“Micheál’s sexual magnetism is beyond doubt, what a handsome gent,” confirmed Simon Harris, whose opinion was in no way swayed by the fact he’d like to be Taoiseach at some point during the term of the next government.

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