Hayes Sickened He Didn’t Hold Out As Stock He Dumped Soars

NEWLY SUSPENDED newly elected Social Democrats Eoin Hayes has voiced his regret after shares in software company Palantir have almost tripled in the six months since he sold them.

Offloading his stake for just €200k in July, Hayes’ shares would be now worth nearly €600k, which works out at a full terms salary in the Dáil or the cost of an ‘affordable home’ in Dublin.

“He’s absolutely bulling,” a source close to Hayes described his mood as he was forced on moral grounds to dump his stake in the US company which provides artificial-intelligence products and services to Israel for use in occupied Palestinian territories.

The newly elected Dublin Bay South TD has been suspended from the Social Democrats’ parliamentary party with immediate effect for giving incorrect information, originally stating he sold the shares before he was elected to politics, but was actually after the fact.

“In fairness to Eoin he’s showing some real promise as an Irish politician and shouldn’t be put off that he was booted out of the Social Dems for lying, he’d get a promotion in Fianna Fáil or Fine Gael for the same thing,” pointed out another source.