Local Man Growing Nervous As Girlfriend’s ‘Celebrity Pass’ Single Again

“HAHA YEAH, read that, they were engaged ‘n all I heard” shared local man Eoin McNamee, after his girlfriend of 4 years Amy Dignam informed him that Channing Tatum, long occupying the number spot on her ‘can cheat if it’s this celebrity’ list, is single once again.

“What are you packing for? Galway isn’t ’til next weekend,” queried the Wateford man as Dignam threw all her racy underwear into a suitcase along with her passport as she mumbled to herself, a worrying-to-McNamee focus coming over her face.

McNamee grew ever more nervous as he realised while his ‘celebrity pass’ list consisting of over 789 celebrities was a bit of harmless craic that would never apply in real world circumstances was treated for more seriously by Dignam.

“Okay so Daily Mail says he has a house Beverly Hills, ticket to LA booked, but TMZ says he’s filming new movie in North Carolina, do I stay outside the BH house, once I find it? Or head to NC? C’mon Amy, think,” Dignam said as she brushed past McNamee like he wasn’t there.

“My mam said she’d look after Tom but you’ll have to pick him up from creche on Friday. And all things going to plan, you can send him over on a flight once I’ve moved my stuff into Channing’s house,” Dignam said of the couple’s two-year-old child.

In a last-ditch attempt to dissuade his partner he accused Tatum of having ‘an awful Irish head on him’. It is believed at least 417 other Irish women are on a specially charted Channing Tatum flight, laid on by Aer Lingus minutes after his split from Zoe Kravitz was announced.

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