Monk’s Chance Of Being Elected Skyrocket After Arrest

IRISH political experts are predicting that Gerry ‘The Monk’ Hutch is a shoe-in for a seat in Dublin Central following his arrest in connection with a money-laundering investigation, with the local electorate following the storied history of Irish voters backing scandal hit candidates.

“The number of fucking idiots who think Spanish police would agree to orchestrate an investigation like this just to stop a man running in an election is significant enough to decide an election contest,” one political commentator observed.

Hutch is hoping to follow in the footsteps of Michael Lowry, John McGahan, Ray Burke, Dessie Ellis, George Redmond, Charles Haughey, Hughie McElvaney and Denis Foley among others, in that a whiff of illegality or wrongdoing only saw them increase their number of sycophantic supporters.

“If anything it improves his chances,” confirmed local expert Bertie Ahern.

“Can’t believe it, the Irish State at it again, getting the Spanish police to launch a huge anti-money laundering offensive just so they could nab our Gerry, an innocent man the government is afraid will become a great political leader that solves inner city issues such as drug dealing and crime,” said one prospective Hutch voter.

Elsewhere, the DPP have politely been asked to stay as far away from this case as possible.

Check out our shop. We’ve tonnes of designs to choose from with new ones added all the time. Each purchase helps us keep the lights on. Check it out here www.waterfordwhispers.shop