Israel Celebrates As Evil 10-Year-Old Hezbollah Chief Finally Killed By Pager Bomb

ISRAELI agencies responsible for the killing of 16 people and injuring over 3,000 in an attack using pager bombs were celebrating today as news of 10-year-old Hezbollah chief Fatima Jaafar Abdullah was obliterated inside her family home.

“I would like to congratulate our team on another flawless military operation,” a joint spokesperson for Mossad, the IDF and the Israeli government said of the attack, which this publication must insist was not a terrorist attack on two sovereign countries and that everyone killed were all bad guys, girls.

Initially it was believed the explosions were due to a malfunction with the pagers, however on closer inspection and the reports of simultaneous mass maimings of thousands of evil people it was obvious this was a defensive non-terrorist attack carried out by God’s very own people who are currently residing in Israel.

“We thought maybe these were Tesla powered pagers and we had first put it down to that,” said a Hezbollah source, holding his intestines into his torso while awaiting medical treatment, “it was fairly crafty we’ll give Israel that – if we had the brains to do this we would have”.

Meanwhile, Taiwanese pager manufacturer Gold Apollo has issued a worldwide recall of all its pagers and if they could post them all back to Xi Jinping, Zhongnanhai, China, that would be great.