World’s Largest Database Of Genital Pictures Valued At $28 Billion


SNAPCHAT, the company in charge of storing the largest collection of dick pics in the world has been valued at a staggering $28 billion after its first day of trading on the New York Stock Exchange, WWN Finance can reveal.

“I guess investors have a lot of faith in dick pics, this robust and virile valuation is a sign that our love of dick pics; both sending and receiving is very, very hard to beat and may continue to swell and expand,” explained stock market expert and dick pic connoisseur Patrick Lambetton in needlessly euphemistic terms.

Other tech experts were quick to explain that Snapchat is much, much more than merely an application through which you can send and receive pictures of genitalia in its many intriguing and grotesque forms.

“To reduce Snapchat to just the world’s largest genital picture database is to miss the point of how refreshing and dynamic it is,” explained tech journalist Madeliene Hobbart, “users can take endless pictures of themselves with filters and marvel at how nice they look before seeking praise from other users, and in this narcissistic culture a company that can provide that is worth a fuck tonne of money”.

Previously Snapchat founders Evan Spiegel and Bobby Murphy had rejected a $3 billion takeover offer from Facebook, which failed to correctly value users love for ephemeral peeks at human flesh and genitalia.