Pub Chef Thinks He’s Gordon Fucking Ramsay Or Something

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STAFF at Nero’s Bar in Waterford have claimed the pub’s head chef thinks he’s Gordon fucking Ramsay or something, despite only cooking basic carvery lunches for the last 13 years.

Martin Brophy (37) was branded a ‘cunt’ by floor staff after yelling obscenities at them for the 1,245th consecutive workday in a row.

“You’d swear he was saving the fucking world in that kitchen the way he carries on,” head waitress Denise Wade told WWN. “All he does is boil a few spuds that someone else peeled, lobs a bit of meat in the oven for a bit and maybe steam a bit of fish on a Friday if he’s not too hungover.

“It’s not rocket science like,” she added. “He doesn’t even have to put the food on the plate – it’s all done for him.”

Brophy, who has spent the majority of his working life hopping from one carvery pub job to the next, defended his abusive behaviour, claiming the heat and work load of the kitchen can be quite stressful when it gets busy.

“You try work twelve hours a day none stop after drinking your weight in beer the night before,” he said, wiping several beads of sweat from his forehead. “You have to be a certain type of person to run a kitchen like this.”

Responding to his claims, one member of staff likened him to “Gordon Fucking Ramsay”, adding that he probably gets off on shouting at young women who wouldn’t normally have to deal with him “on the outside”.

“I wouldn’t piss on the bollocks if he was on fire,” concluded kitchen porter Anna Molley. “He’s just another cook trying to act like a proper chef who actually deserves respect. Keep roasting them spuds lad. No one cares about your fake bad temper”.

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