Local Man Doesn’t Understand Why Parrott Isn’t Joining Real Madrid For €200mn

ONE LOCAL Irish soccer enthusiast has been left dumbfounded by the rumours Troy Parrott is about to seal a move to Real Betis, WWN Sport can reveal.

“His agent or whatever needs to calm down, just wait for Real Madrid to come in, it’ll be a big fee like but the €200 million price tag shouldn’t phase Tory,” explained supporter Gerry Hart, who has no previous incidences in which his patriotism gets in the way of assessing the abilities of Irish athletes.

“No, it’s just like what I said about Evan Ferguson two years ago, Barcelona should have paid the fee for him and he would have been a perfect replacement for Lewandowski when he went,” added Hart, still mourning the fact Richard Dunne was never made captain of AC Milan when he would have slotted in perfectly alongside Jaap Stam as a successor to Alessandro Nesta.

Hart, a veteran of 42 transfer windows during which his delusions and obsessions grow, maintains that he has a keen understand of the soccer world and unlike other fans doesn’t just talk out of his arse.

“Mbappe would get used to being on the bench, or if Mourinho gets in his ear and tells him to fight for the left wing with Vinicius and the new fella Diamond Andy,” continued Hart.

With Parrott’s nailed on move to Los Blancos Hart can finally get excited about winning Euro 2028.

“Finn Aziz could slot in there at City replacing Bernardo Silva, they’re crying out for a player like him, then Jake O’Brien solves Liverpool’s centre-back issues and of course Jason Molumby is a sensible bit of business on the lower end for United to get that shielding midfielder. See, it’s only one or two small changes and we’re playing amongst the big boys again,” concluded Hart directly to his girlfriend who spiritually left the room some time ago.