New IRA Explosive Smugglers Really Regretting Labelling Carry Bag ‘Semtex’

ALLEGED transporters of explosives bound for the north of Ireland are rumoured to be kicking themselves for some very basic errors which ultimately led to their discovery and apprehension by gardaí, WWN can reveal.

“Labelling your big bag of explosives ‘Semtex’ was a bad start, these pretendy New IRA types are made of nothing these days,” offered one former Republican.

Some have said the recent incident proves that some treasured Irish traditions are being lost in a fast-changing Ireland.

“First off, everyone knows you force kids to do this stuff in the first place, but there needs to some education so you’re not embarrassing yourself, these clowns would be sending their one-hour warnings via WhatsApp voice note,” added another Republican.

Allegedly caught red-handed with the explosives, many legal experts hold out little hope those responsible will escape jail.

“I’m not sure of what will unfold in the trial and what further evidence will come to light but I’d 100% go with the ‘we were showing a bunch of American tourists around and offered them an immersive Troubles tour experience’ excuse,” shared one legal expert.