Mayo Man Rostered To Work During All-Ireland Takes Case To European Court of Human Rights

PAUL CLEARY won his bid to fast track his case to heard by the highest court for human rights in Europe.

Naming not only his employer but the Irish State in his filing, Cleary alleges it is a gross abuse of his human rights to be rostered to work when Mayo are playing Kerry in the All-Ireland final this Sunday.

“These days don’t come around every year, watching Mayo losing an All-Ireland final is a basic human right any Mayo native is entitled to, but the fact I work in Dublin under a Dublin boss, there’s a clear discrimination at work” said Cleary, a maintenance engineer at a large Dublin firm.

Cleary says an initial offer of ‘sticking the radio on in the background’ shows his employers’ failure to accept the gravity of the situation, and what suffering fulfilling his shift would impose upon him.

“I’ve been told on advice from my counsel not to compare my horrid plight to any of the wars or killings going on around the world but arragh, this is worse than anything anyone has ever had to go through, the inhumanity of some people,” continued Cleary in a rousing speech.

“Yes, we hear of this Mayo, this sort of bad luck can only be generated by a thousand gypsy witches. Normally, the Mayo people before us beg us to be locked away in a room with no light or sound so they are not tortured by another final loss. You are a masochist, no?” shared Judge Gorzad Nikolovski as he deliberated Cleary’s pleas for the day off.

A judgement is expected later today which will also consider Cleary’s request for a doctor’s note for a month on the piss should Mayo finally win.