Government Really Hoping U-18s E-Scooter Ban Makes Up For Housing & Health Crises

COULD ENDLESS talk about banning e-scooters for u-18s that materialises into a poorly thought out and unenforceable law be the answer to Ireland’s housing and health crises? No, but the Irish government has confirmed this is all it has to offer the public at this time.

“Before moaning about how your autistic kid can’t get a place in school and you were on a housing list or in the mix for affordable housing but the houses were redesignated and sold on the open market, just think of what we’re doing for radio phone-ins. You should have seen the look on those presenter’s faces when we talked about e-scooters, a phone-in paradise,” confirmed a government spokesperson.

News that teenagers in your area who speed around the estate on an e-scooter driving over the green, weaving in and out of traffic will no longer be allowed to do it and face the wrath of non-existent police presence will be of great comfort to everyone.

“Remember, we’re saving lives, if a child gets injured on an e-scooter they could be sent by ambulance to the children’s hospital we can’t seem to finish building, so banning them from the scooters altogether is for the best, at the expense of all else,” added confirming an Irish politician’s brain is like a golf buggy in that it only has one gear and struggles with uphill tasks.

“I can’t believe people are calling into question or being cynical about how we’re trying to protect children with this possible ban for u-18s,” confirmed Tánaiste Simon Harris, part of a government not bothered by the fact Irish headquartered X platform remains a paradise for people seeking to produce non-consensual AI Grok images of women and children.