Police Called To Wicklow Hike Trail As Harry Styles Fans Continue To Hump Ground On Area He Posed For Picture At

WICKLOW GARDAÍ have appealed for urgent help as they struggle to deal with rabid Harry Styles fans who have taken to desecrating a beauty spot in the county due to it being precisely where the pop star is believed to have taken a picture in recent days.

“There’s not a hint of grass with a 50 metre radius anymore, the local ecology has been decimated thanks to vigorous dry humping,” confirmed one park ranger mourning the desecration of a viewing point over Lough Tay.

“People have taken the day off especially for this, it’s disgusting,” added the ranger as gardaí struggled to control a crowd of women from becoming overwhelmed by the erotic urge to touch the ground upon which Styles has walked.

Amid thousands of media reports and social media posts detailing his exact movements, the Irish public has once again commended itself on the fact it always leaves famous people to their anonymity when they holiday in Ireland.

“I spotted a glistening trail this morning, I thought it was some giant slug or something but then I heard the cries of pleasure and I called the guards but the entire army wouldn’t be sufficient,” continued the ranger, tearing up at the realisation that with its abundance of rocky surfaces, jagged outcrops and tempting humps, the beauty spot never stood a chance.

Fáilte Ireland have said they regret the incident but are thankful for the resulting waterfall which should be a boon to local tourism.

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