Left Wing Parties Meet To Discuss How Best To Fall Out Over Catherine Connolly’s Presidential Run

NOT ENTIRELY sure on the details yet, Ireland’s left-wing parties have convened a number of meetings in an attempt to iron out specifics on how and why they will fall out over and sabotage, intentionally or otherwise, Galway TD Catherine Connolly’s presidential run.

“We’re all for her, but that doesn’t mean we won’t pull our support suddenly if we decide going to Syria is a dealer breaker, which it isn’t now, but could be, if we decide to care, which as of now, we don’t,” explained some TDs and senators backing the Galway West TD.

Singing a little more from their own hymn sheet, Sinn Fein have confirmed they could still put forward their own candidate who will split the vote alongside Connolly paving the way for an FF/FG candidate to romp home.

“This could be an ideal opportunity for left wing parties to begin meaningful and lasting cooperation but on the other hand if we had the presidency, that’s 7 years of getting on the news easy enough, claiming we’ve a solution for everything,” confirmed Sinn Féin.

“Look as long as we collectively, accidentally sleep walk into making this a referendum on immigration and transgender people rather than a vote on a ceremonial position of Irish president, we’ll have done our job,” shared the Labour party.

Elsewhere, broadsheet newspapers have confirmed that Fine Gael candidate Mairead McGuinness, who as an MEP voted against increasing EU efforts to help refugees drowning in the Mediterranean, is the obvious and logical successor to the mantle of the progressive presidency led by Michael D. Higgins.

As previously reported President Higgins will not be contesting an unheard of third successive term due to the fallout from him sending an unsolicited dick pic to rapper Azelia Banks.

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