Tickets For Barack Obama’s ‘I Drone Bombed Weddings’ In 3 Arena Expected To Sell Out
DESPITE some VIP ticket packages being priced at as much as €2,000, Barack Obama’s Dublin date on his ‘I Murdered Innocent People By Bombing Weddings’ speaking tour is set to be perform a precision strike on ticket holders’ bank balances.
“To see someone with his deeply impactful ability to connect with people through his words up close is too good a chance to pass up. I’m particularly interested in hearing about how he changed the definition of ‘enemy combatants’ in his drone strike to include innocent children so that he could artificially drive down the number of civilian casualties reported in the media,” said one eager fan who will be among the first in the queue for what is sure to be a sold out event.
“I’m sad I won’t be able to make the Dublin date as I’m busy, but I’ll find some way of letting him know how inspiring I found his drone bombing of weddings and killing scores of innocent people all because he said a terrorist was probably in attendance,” confirmed local Israeli leader, Benjamin Netanyahu.
While some people will be happy to hear the former US president talk at length on his major drone executions at length, others are hoping the much publicised speaking tour has a chance to include laying the groundwork for the rise of ISIS, the annexation of Crimea and the collapse of Libya amid the emergence of live slave markets.
“I hope there’s a Q&A portion to the night, I want to ask him if he’s wishes AI was around during his presidency when the NSA was secretly spying on American citizens,” confirmed one excited gig attender.
“Fuck that bullshit, I’m here for the really tough questions like what he does he really think about his petrol station in Offaly,” offered another hopeful attendee.
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