Guantanamo Bay Guards Condemn Conditions In Irish Nursing Homes

FORMER GUANTANAMO BAY guards have spoken out about the conditions uncovered by RTÉ Prime Time in a number of privately run nursing homes in Ireland, stating that not even in their wildest, torture-loving minds would they subject people to the treatment meted out in some Irish nursing homes.

“At least here we were given lessons on how to make bed sores become infected, these poor bastards working in the homes have to figure this out by themselves with no help from the people running the place,” offered one guard.

“Although I do admire their commitment to solitary confinement, just ignoring, for days on end, elderly and vulnerable people paying over €1500 a month, respect!”

Beneavin House and The Residence, Portlaoise, operated by Emeis a company who are the largest private nursing beds provider to the Irish State have come under the microscope in the aftermath of the revelations with calls for further investigations.

“The whole reason the Bay here is so notorious is because of George Bush and his illegal wars, and he’s still walking free. But I suppose that’s because they were just innocent brown people, whereas with your nursing homes these our your treasured elderly people. I’m glad the Irish people don’t take that shit, the people responsible will be punished,” added the guard, who was unaware of the outcomes from the last dozen Irish nursing home scandals.

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