Temu Announce 36% Off Sale To Mark Tiananmen Square Massacre’s 36th Anniversary

“CRACK the right egg and get 1% off for every year since nothing of note happened in Tiananmen Square on that fateful day,” confirmed the welcome screen on consumers’ Temu apps today, as the Chinese discount online marketplace of stuff that you’ll end up throwing away sought to mark the anniversary.

However, some customers accustomed to extensive discounts and promotions from the retailer were left disappointed.

“A 36% discount is good I suppose, but I thought they’d link it to the number of people murdered by the Chinese government during the student uprising which some estimates put in the low thousands. Imagine a 1000% discount off the 64 electric toothbrush heads I just bought for €9.78?” said one Temu customer.

Enjoying a complicated reputation among consumers, Temu parent company PDD Holdings is currently headquartered in Ireland due not to Ireland’s loophole heavy tax arrangements but rather because a billion plus Irish people work in factories producing the cheap products Temu sell to the West.

“I’m so angry I could stand in front of a tank in protest but then Temu customer service might try to erase my existence,” said another customer who still hadn’t received her order of 1,000 make up wipes that may or may not contain lead despite purchasing them three months ago.